Starting Over - Week 1 Day 1 C25K

I took a couple months off from running to try to recover from my foot injury from July.  I just kept reaggrivating it.  I needed to let it heal.  So, on Monday I started over on C25K.  I don't see it as a step back, since I had made it to week 10 of the 10K Trainer.  I see it as a review. 

Day 1

It was a lot harder than I thought it would be.  We started off faster, and it was great.  It was hard though.  My brain knew I should be able to go longer.  My body said no. I was sluggish. It felt good to get moving again. 

Day 2

Today was easier running.  I was a little sad when I had to start walking.  That is, until I got to run 6.  Then I was about done. It was a balmy 21° and windy.  I was so cold from my elbows to my hands.  They turned red from the cold. 

**Don't mind my nails.**

My view of my running partner/hubby. 

My smile when day 2 was done. I always try to keep a smile on my face when I run.  It keeps it fun. 

Every New Beginning Comes From Some Beginning's End

This last year has been one of the most amazing years.  So many new beginnings, and a few ends. 

All the birthdays for the year are over.  I turned 34 this year.  I was pregnant with my 9th baby, and excitedly awaiting his arrival in April.  Joy turned 1, Bekah turned 4, Zech was born, Abby 10, Moses 6, Sadie 16, Jake 2, Brent 40, Hannah 13, and Brigham 8. 

Hannah (purple jacket) was a munchkin in the Wizard of Oz in January.  She had a blast and hopes to get in this next play as well. 

We went to Branson over spring break and stayed in a house with Brent's parents and sister's family. They found out I was expecting baby Z at 37 weeks into the pregnancy. 

I had baby Z at home on April 25, at 40w5d.  His oldest sister caught him.  He's such a happy and sweet baby. 

Brent left to Arizona the first week of June.  He had a job with his friend and another to finish his sister's basement.  It was supposed to be 6 weeks. Sadie and Hannah went to Utah to visit Brent's family until he was finished and would take them home. I stayed home with the kids 10 yrs-newborn until they got back.  What a disaster.  I was overwhelmed.  Brent's job was delayed by weeks.  His sister never did get the loan for her basement. She didn't even apply until middle of July, when he was supposed to be coming home.  

His dad insisted while in Branson that we bring the family out and they would pay for gas. Come end of July, I hadn't seen Brent or the girls for almost 2 months.  There was no end in sight, as his sister was just getting around to applying for a loan for the basement. He talked to his parents about us coming out, and they could meet baby Z for the first time.  Brent said it was all planed, so I went out and bought $50 in snacks for the trip. It was going to be like a 50-60 hour round trip, and I needed something to keep 6 kids happy, plus baby (so I got a few baby things).  I was planning on my brother riding out with us, then flying back home.  When it came time to get my brother's ticket and finalizing when we would come out, his parents told Brent they never said they offered that.  Then they said they did, but instead we opted for the Branson trip (which was not something Brent and I were wanting to do). Things blew up between everyone.  I blocked his family temporarily on facebook because of all the junk going on.  A week went by and Jake turned 3.  They never called, texted, or even acknowledged his birthday at all.  The only child to be completely ignored by them for his birthday.  Well, other than Zechariah, that never had a welcome to the family acknowledgment from them.  That hurt me.  I never once mentioned it to Jacob.  I didn't want him to realize that his grandparents didn't care enough to even email a happy birthday note. 

That passed.  Brent said to forget the basement. He lost 2 1/2 months of Z's life, all our money was spent, and he wanted to come home.  He drive all night to go get the girls, slept 2 hours in the car,  picked the girls up, and drove home to Missouri.  Things again got ugly between his family, and we decided to just cut them from our lives.  Not forever, but a while.  

Then, good things began to happen. We got into several more festival last fall.  That was a huge blessing.  Come November, we had to make a choice with our water where we live.  Either sign up, and be stuck with a water bill forever, even if we don't use the water or disconnect it. Or, not sign up and lose our water service when the new system is installed.  We decided not to sign up.  Then, something good happened.  

The next day, we found a house, put in an offer, and it was accepted at $33,500.  It's needing work, so we are still not living there. It's 3000 sq ft, 5 bd, 2 bath. 

It's beautiful.  We can't wait to move in. 

Then, the end of a legacy. 

Hannah turned 13 on Dec 10.  We took her out to eat.  She came home and I was making her cake when I got the phone call. My grandfather, 94 years old, had fallen.  He said he was ready to go.  My aunt beeped in and my mom let me go.  She called back a few minutes later. Hesitant to answer because I just knew.  She said my grandfather had passed away. 

A strong man. He was buried with military honors.  

The next week I got a call from the newspaper. They wanted me to contribute with a story about me on homebirth.  They saw this blog.  It was featured on the front page on the Christmas Eve edition. 

Since then, Brent's friend Sean has moved out here.  They are out today talking to people and pricing things to get their business started.  

Good Bye Grandpa

Wednesday (Dec 10) we took Hannah out for her 13th birthday.  We got the keys to our new house.  Then we went out to eat for a birthday lunch.  We spent all day out having fun.  I ran to the store and grabbed a few thing for dinner and got her a mango for a surprise snack (she's a mango fanatic).  She cut it up and was eating it.  As dinner was going I was just finishing up the cake batter and about to put it in the oven when my mom called.  I had Hannah answer it because it would be a birthday call for her.  After the happy birthday wishes my mom asked to talk to me. 

My grandpa (94) fell.  He had also been coming down with pneumonia and wasn't feeling good, but seemed to be doing better.  My mom had visited him Sunday and Monday and said he was doing better.  When she called she said hospice was there.  My aunt said he was dying.  My other aunt was calling her, so she let me go.  I put the cake in the oven and hubby asked what was going on.  He could see I was upset.  I said my grandpa wasn't doing good.  That they hoped he wouldn't pass away on Hannah's birthday. One of my kids asked if I meant Brigham's birthday (on the 20th).  I said no, Hannah's.  The phone rang.  He was gone.  Just like that.  No more grandparents.  He told them he was at peace and ready to go.  Then he was gone.  Now I'm getting my kids ready for a 5 hour trip to go to his funeral on Monday.  

I'm trying to be ok.  I cry periodically.  Hannah took it ok.  She was sad, but she wasn't close to him.  The kids are good.  They have lost all 4 of their great grandparents over the last 9 years.  It hit me harder because I spent my summers with them.  Now they're gone.  

Hubby said he thinks there was a significance to him dying on her birthday. That birth and death are close to one another.  He woke up singing this morning the song Closing Time, and said he kept thinking about the part where it goes "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end".

Tonight is Friday.  I was talking to Brigham about his and Abby's visit with their Great Grandpa.  Abby had sung Popcorn Popping On The Apricot Tree to him.  Brigham said "One morning, when Great Grandpa and I were the only ones up, he told me that he knew he was going to die soon because he was having trouble breathing".  Brent ask Brigham what he said to his Great Grandpa.  He said his reply was, "oh".  The words of a child.  I love him so.  

Here are some pictures of my grandpa during our visit Aug of 2010.