Saturday, April 19, 2014


Most weeks, when not breastfeeding, it's a good week if I get 2 nights of full sleep without a small child waking up needing something.  I'm not complaining.  That's just life with a big family and small children.  1 or more usually wakes up crying, needing to go to the bathroom, cold, hot, sick, or something.  

Last night was no exception. The only difference was it was a new experience and I felt like I was in the psych ward.  

Bekah woke up around 3 am with two shrill screams.  I waited a moment, and heard her going back to sleep.  The sound kids make when not quite awake to begin with.  A few minutes later she starts crying.  I ask what's wrong.  

Then it began.  

She cries out "A Spider!  A Spider in my BED!"  

I tell her it's ok. 



I get her out of bed, turn on a flashlight and walk her around showing there are no spiders.  

"SPIDERS ARE IN THE BATHROOM!  THEY'RE GOING IN THERE (pointing to the girls' bedroom)"

Everything was spiders or spiderwebs.  The blankets, the doors, the couch, her hair!  Oh...her HAIR!  Her hair was covered in spiders. She kept smacking herself and SCREAMING!!! I'm sure we scared the neighbors.  

Hubby finally had to hold her down in bed next to him (this was at least 20 minutes into screaming terror) and shine a light everywhere in the room.  Oh, and yes, the entire house was fully awake.  We had to keep explaining it was ONLY A DREAM!  She FINALLY calmed down enough to stop screaming and would only occasionally hit herself. She finally fell asleep in our room.  

This morning she keeps laughing and telling us about her dream of spiders hanging upside down trying to drink her blood.  

Sunday, April 13, 2014

An emotional day - 39 weeks

I'm just really tired. I was up most of the night last night with contractions.  Breathed through them.  Had dreams of birth.  Had the moments between waking and sleeping where it felt like part of the sac was bulging, or baby was coming.  I didn't have a good night sleep.  

I'm having emotional breakdowns today.  Everything is just becoming too much for me.  My kids are fighting today.  Hubby's ER visit.  Imminent baby sometime soon. Then other things in life that just add up. 

I deactivated from Facebook today.  I need time for me.  I need sleep and time to find my inner peace.  My bubble of peace.  My birthing place.  

For other news, today is 39 weeks.  Baby has dropped and starts spinning during night contractions.