Good Bye Grandpa

Wednesday (Dec 10) we took Hannah out for her 13th birthday.  We got the keys to our new house.  Then we went out to eat for a birthday lunch.  We spent all day out having fun.  I ran to the store and grabbed a few thing for dinner and got her a mango for a surprise snack (she's a mango fanatic).  She cut it up and was eating it.  As dinner was going I was just finishing up the cake batter and about to put it in the oven when my mom called.  I had Hannah answer it because it would be a birthday call for her.  After the happy birthday wishes my mom asked to talk to me. 

My grandpa (94) fell.  He had also been coming down with pneumonia and wasn't feeling good, but seemed to be doing better.  My mom had visited him Sunday and Monday and said he was doing better.  When she called she said hospice was there.  My aunt said he was dying.  My other aunt was calling her, so she let me go.  I put the cake in the oven and hubby asked what was going on.  He could see I was upset.  I said my grandpa wasn't doing good.  That they hoped he wouldn't pass away on Hannah's birthday. One of my kids asked if I meant Brigham's birthday (on the 20th).  I said no, Hannah's.  The phone rang.  He was gone.  Just like that.  No more grandparents.  He told them he was at peace and ready to go.  Then he was gone.  Now I'm getting my kids ready for a 5 hour trip to go to his funeral on Monday.  

I'm trying to be ok.  I cry periodically.  Hannah took it ok.  She was sad, but she wasn't close to him.  The kids are good.  They have lost all 4 of their great grandparents over the last 9 years.  It hit me harder because I spent my summers with them.  Now they're gone.  

Hubby said he thinks there was a significance to him dying on her birthday. That birth and death are close to one another.  He woke up singing this morning the song Closing Time, and said he kept thinking about the part where it goes "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end".

Tonight is Friday.  I was talking to Brigham about his and Abby's visit with their Great Grandpa.  Abby had sung Popcorn Popping On The Apricot Tree to him.  Brigham said "One morning, when Great Grandpa and I were the only ones up, he told me that he knew he was going to die soon because he was having trouble breathing".  Brent ask Brigham what he said to his Great Grandpa.  He said his reply was, "oh".  The words of a child.  I love him so.  

Here are some pictures of my grandpa during our visit Aug of 2010. 

A call from the press

Kind of half way freaking out. 

Phone rang. Hubby looked at it. It was the local paper. Ummmm? Ok. He answered it and talked for a few seconds, then says "Yes, she's here." and hand the phone to me. Cue question marks from both of us. 

It was the local paper wanting me to write up a piece for their Christmas edition about home birth. She's emailing me some questions. Things like how many home births vs hospital. Home many kids. What I would suggest to women who are looking to birth at home. 

Wow! 

I know I sounded super paranoid. I am when it comes to stuff like this in public.  There have been a few recent bad home birth articles lately in the national news.  Still, I get to write it up and decide what direction it goes, for the most part.  It can be a happy and good home birth piece.  

13 Years Ago - Happy Birthday Hannah

This night, 13 years ago, I was preparing for the birth of my second child. Although I had my dates for the doctor, they kept giving me different dates for her due date.  As the day got closer, the doctors asked about induction. We talked about it and decided to go ahead and induce. I was a couple weeks early according to my dates, but I figured we could go ahead and induce.  Brent's parents came down to Oklahoma to be with us and see the birth and their new grandbaby. They set the induction date for the 10th of December at 8am. I didn't realize until that night how hard it was to sleep when you knew the time labour would start. 

Brent was going to school at Spartan School of Aeronautics. He had school that day, but didn't want me to labour without him. I told him to go to school, and if things progressed faster than we thought they would, I'd call him. He hesitantly decided to go. It all worked out great, though. Labour went slow. He had plenty of time. I spent a lot of the day with Bill, Sandy and Sadie. They had a little play area that they would take Sadie to go play in to pass the time. They even got her a little toy car, that she just loved.

The doctor was good and the nurse during labor was great. I tried to go without an epidural, but being stuck in bed made it hard. I had some pain medication put into an IV, but it didn't help much. Brent said it was ok and that I didn't need to go through all the pain.  The nurse told me it would help me to relax and might speed things up.  I decided to ask for the epidural. Shortly after that, I was ready to push. 

We still hadn't decided on a name for our little girl. We had been going between Sophia and Hannah.  As I was getting ready to push, Brent said that it was up to me what we would name her. I took a quick moment to think, then decided I liked Hannah best.

Hannah Marie Hartman was born at 5:01pm, on December 10, 2001. She was 7lb 9oz and 19 inches long.  Our smallest baby. 

She was a sweet little bug.  I kept her in my room almost all the time.  I would occasionally fall asleep with her in my bed, but I never slept much while there because I was afraid of the nurses getting upset seeing me asleep with her.  She was our thumb sucker from day 1.  Always had her thumb to comfort her.  Such a smart little girl, who is now a smart young woman.  How the time flies by.  

Happy Birthday to my little Hannah. 

How to track your ovulation to get pregnant

If you are needing to track your ovulation in order to improve your chances of getting pregnant, a basal body thermometer is a great way to do so. A basal body thermometer is a special thermometer that measures temperature to a very detailed degree. You can buy them online or at your local drug store, and they are a great way to help you track your ovulation dates. It is important to remember that basal body temperature is the temperature of your body at rest, so you will always want to take your temperature with a basal body thermometer first thing in the morning before even getting out of bed.

Each day, take your temperature with the basal body thermometer first thing in the morning, and write your temperature down on a chart. Do this every single day. It might take a few months to get to the point where you will be able to see a pattern, but eventually, you will notice a slight spike in your temperature on a certain day of the month. This is the surge of the LH hormone in your body, and means ovulation will be occurring very soon. To find out great pregnancy tips, make sure to check out www.pregnancytips.org.

He fixed what was broken

Last night I was awake before the sun.  Zech has a little croup, and last night he couldn't sleep.  I propped pillows up against the wall, put him on my chest, and sat up with him.  He sang to me.  "Whoooooo" is what he says.  I sat in the dark holding my sweet baby.  7 months old and not feeling good, but he's singing his hoot owl song to me.  I discovered yesterday that when he starts to get fussy, I put his head on my shoulder and make his sing song noise.  Whoooooo

During my time of loving my baby through the dark, sleepless night, I listened to him sing with his little on my shoulder.  I thought about how much had changed since I found myself pregnant with him. 

I was broken spiritually and mentally after Joy's birth.  I was done.  When the 2 lines appeared on the pregnancy test, I cried.  The pregnancy, no matter how much I pretended it was good, it was a burden.  I wasn't happy.  When I was in labor, I just wanted it to be over.  When he was born, I didn't care to hold him. I just draped myself over the box I was leaning over to birth him.  It was done.  That was all. 

Over the next few days I stared at him.  I nursed him.  I snuggled him.  He reminded me of someone.  An old man.  He also reminded me of someone I knew.  I still don't know who.  Zechariah was a stranger to me in spirit.  My other children were familiar.  Some I saw in dreams before birth.  Even today, 7 months later, he's a stranger. 

As I sat in the dark last night, I knew I loved him more than anything I could imagine.  His singing brought me to a thought I'd never had.  Something that healed my broken spirit.  

When I was in labor, I was vocal.  I made a noise that Hannah said sounded like I was singing opera. 

As I listened to him, I realized that was the noise I made.  It was the same song. The same noise. It was a connection to me from his birth.  He was singing my song to him.  A song of birth.  A song of a new beginning.  A time where he fixed what was broken within me. 

A new house, a new life

The past year has been a lifetime of changes. 

Over the last year we have been fighting a battle with our village board.  We live in a village with about 100 people.  They are enacting new ordinances, and will be enforced by an ordinance officer.  You can be fined up to $500 per offense.  There are other issues we have with this as well. 

There is an issue with the water system.  The water is awful. However, the new system is under contract to where if you sign up, you pay a minimum $10 a month fee for 35 years to pay back the loan.  This is as long as they have 65 households signed up.  If less, you pay more.  You also pay a minimum $20 month fee per month for water service no matter if you use it or not.  So $30 per month without using any water, minimum. We had to decide if we would sign up by Nov 5, or pay $1500 later to get hooked up. 

We didn't sign up.  

Things fell through with the house we were looking at getting in town. 

On Nov 5, we decided to not sign up for water at our house we were currently in.  We also decided it was time to move.  Brent contacted his friend Jeff, who is a realtor.  The next day we were going to look at Jeff's dad's house (possible 7 bedroom). He was asking $49,000, we after talking to him, he said he would take $45,000. Before we left on Wednesday to look at the house, Jeff called and asked if we would come look at another house first.  The lady's husband was a lawyer, and they were fixing it up before he passed.  

We met at the house.  A pretty blue, with a porch that wraps around the front. 

When we walked in the house, I was blown away.  A gorgeous kitchen. Jeff said it was a $15,000 kitchen remodel.  Beautiful.  The formal dining room was huge.  The family room was the same size.  There was a room on the main level that had damage.  The skylights upstairs leaked, which ran down and caused part of the ceiling to fall in on the bedroom.  There's also a cute little room between the bedroom and stairs.  

We went upstairs.  The 2 bedrooms that the kids could share are amazing!  So much room!  Then, the master bedroom.  It's got the space in there as what our whole trailer is.  Plus, an enclosed porch with a jacuzzi tub.  2914 sq ft house.  It also has a full basement!  

She was asking $39,000!  We decided that night to put in an offer. We offered $25,000.  She countered with $35,000.  Then we met at $32,500!  

We handed Jeff the contract today!  We just need 20% down and get the financing.  

Trying not to get excited.  Trying not to get excited.  

I'm so excited!!!!

The house was built in 1906.  It had a feeling of peace and love.  It was a warm house.  I walked in.  I felt like I was at home.  

We went inside and got some good pictures. 

Dining room

Room we call the 'ballroom'.  I can do my Salsa and Ballroom Dancing in here. 

Front Room

Sadie's cute room of her own and closet under the stairs. 

Going upstairs

Girls room

Boys Room

Me and Brent's room

Back downstairs... My favorite piece in the house.  The mirror in the ballroom. 

My first attempt at henna

It took me half the day to get the nerve up to get my henna practice in.  I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted to practice on my foot first.  

I filled my cones this morning, then I set them to the side. I pulled up YouTube and found myself watching henna tutorial videos for a couple hours. 

Finally, I got baby Z in bed, and I decided to go for it. How bad could it look?  Right?

I decided it didn't look finished, so I continued on.  

I finally decided to stop before I reached my knees.  Ha ha!

The finished version of my first henna.