Welcome Zechariah Bruyn To The World

I'm going to start earlier in the week. I went to bed Monday night at 40+1. I will admit that I had been ready for a couple weeks, but still thinking that he could hold on like Joy did and wait until almost 43 weeks.  

Ok, so I went to bed Monday night exhausted.  What did I do all day. I cleaned all day long. 

"My house is ready. My birth kit is ready. I organized baby's clothes and diapers. Dinner was ready by 4 (a little crazy on getting dinner going early). Showered, did laundry, organized. No sewing today."

I had the nesting bug.  I I had been sewing cloth pads and a few fun craft projects all week. 

I'd been having pretty hard contractions for 5 to 7 hours at a time starting Monday.  They would go on for hours, me breathing through them, then stop.  

Wednesday night I decided to take a picture. I thought "This could be my last picture of this pregnancy". 

So, come Thursday night, I was tired and ready.  We went to bed and at midnight (12:04am actually) a very hard contraction came along.  My eyes popped open.  Ok, this might be it.  I fell back asleep.  Another contraction.  It was one hour apart.  This happened until 4am.  Then they picked up.  I stopped timing at that point.  

I went back and forth between bed and the bathroom. I lost track of time at that point.  I listened to music on my phone. I spent a lot of time in the bathroom between laboring on the toilet, hanging on the counter, and kneeling over my birth kit box.  At some point I got on the couch and slept between contractions.  Waking only to moan, cry out, and at the end sob through the last few.  

I went back to the bathroom and labored between my triangle of locations.  None were helping.  I kept telling myself that it was getting close.  I could feel baby's bag of waters bulging.  I waited and labored longer.  I moaned and yelled through my contractions.  I kept talking to baby, saying it was time to come out.  

**Later that day Hannah (12) apologized because she said she smiled hearing me because I sounded like I was singing opera.  She said I was hitting the notes rather well.**

I could feel the bag of waters, and knew I couldn't go on for much longer.  I was exhausted physically and mentally.  I pinched to break the sac, and a little liquid did come out, but the bag was still intact.  I labored a bit longer and tried again.  This time water splashed across the chux pad.  Things picked up from there.  

My oldest daughter Sadie (15) was hanging around outside of the bathroom.  She asked if I needed anything.  I said I needed her dad.  

They both came in, but I had kind of wedged myself into my triangular area where there wasn't a lot of room.  I hadn't wanted to move to far to change positions.  He had no space to get in by me.  He said to come to the living room where there was plenty of space to have baby.  I began roaring and said I can't move. I could feel baby's head.  At this point I was stuck leaning over my birth kit box facing the wall. 

He asked Sadie if she could get behind me.  If she would want to catch the baby.  She jumped at the chance, although very nervous since she hadn't done that before.  She had only helped with Bekah's birth, but didn't catch.  She was afraid of dropping the baby. Brent told her to be careful because baby will be slippery and come out with some force.  He then said to watch for the head. 

At this point I was feeling baby's head and knew the progress of what was going on. Unfortunately the only communication I could give them was my primal roars.  I would push through contractions and feel his head very slowly make it's way down.  Oh how I wanted this finished.  I kept thinking how close it was.  How I would meet my baby soon.  His head got close to crowning and Sadie told Brent she could see his head.  They both began encouraging me.  The excitement was in the air.  Baby was almost here. 

I pushed a couple more times and his head began to crown.  I took a break between contractions and slowly pushed him in just a bit.  I needed more time to stretch.  I pushed again on the next contraction and still couldn't get him out.  On the next, with Brent and Sadie encouraging me, I pushed and roared.  I thought his head was out, but they said to keep pushing.  I guess I stopped about his face.  It was like his head went on forever.  Then, finally, his head was out!  They said how he had a perfect head!  I found out later he was sunny side up.  

Next contraction I didn't wait.  I began pushing.  Brent readied Sadie.  I'm not exactly sure what's really going on with them, as I'm facing away from everyone.  I hear Sadie ask why baby is blue (a bit scared) and we both said that how they are, it's ok.  Then Brent said the cord was around baby's neck, but it was beyond the point of stopping.  Baby was out.  (The cord was not looped around the neck, but draped across his shoulders.)

I hear Brent say "It's a boy!".  What a surprise to me!  I felt the entire time baby was a girl!  

He asked the time.  11:20am. I said it sure felt like 4pm.  

I was exhausted.  With my others I wanted to immediately hold baby.  This time I could only drape myself across the box and rest.  After a few minutes I was able to shakily stand up and see my baby boy. I don't know how long I waited, but he was cleaned up by that time. I guess he was really cheesy.  I grabbed a towel and sat on it while I finally held my little (not so little) guy.  I stood up and felt movement.  I squatted and pushed the placenta out. We then tied the cord and Brent cut it. 

Brent then asked everyone what their guess was on his weight.  Sadie said 7lb something.  My eyes got huge.  I laughed and said I guess 9lb 10oz because his head was so big.  Brent guessed 9lb 16oz.  I laughed and said that was 10lbs.  He said it's also 9lb 16oz.  Ha ha!

They took him out and I sat in the toilet for a while.  I was cold and shaking so hard I couldn't do much else for a while.  After I gathered myself, I was able to shower.  After I got out and dressed I went to the living room and found out he was 9lb 10oz on the dot!

Brent then looked at me and asked about names.  We had thought of girls, and I mentioned boy names, but nothing was decided on.  He said "What about Zechariah?".  I was so happy!  It was one I wanted since Moses.  He asked about the middle name.  I had no idea.  Then he said (since Zechariah was a family name) what about Zechariah's middle name, Bruyn?  Perfect!

Zechariah Bruyn

Born 4/25/14 at 40w 5d

11:20am

9lb 10oz

21 1/2 inches long

15 inch head

40+2

End of the day. 

So, I cleaned some more.  The water to the entire town was out from 10am until about 7pm.  It's finally back on, however we will likely have a boil order for a couple days now.  

I'm tired.  I'm tired of people asking how I'm doing.  I'm tired of mean people online.  I'm tired of moving.  I'm tired of my feet swelling every time I eat.  

I've accepted the fact that I'll probably be pregnant for another week or two.  I'm tired of that too.  I just had my first contraction all day today about 30 minutes ago.  

Baby's moving though.  Not as much today, but moving around right now.  

Anyway, I'm getting ready for bed.  

40+1 - Nesting

I'm nesting like crazy! I want to stop but I'm obsessive today. 

Cleaned/bleached the bathroom, did laundry, swept twice, cleaned the living room, kitchen partially clean, back room needs some organizing, sorted and organized baby clothes and NB diapers, sorted and organized 15 month olds clothes, still need to pull baby's first outfit, prepped my birth kit again, dinner has been in the crockpot since 9am, kids are off to clean their rooms...

I'm driving myself crazy.  I had to stop and rest.  I wasn't able to walk well after all this.  I'm staring at my piano and it is making my brain twitch. There are things out of order that need organized.  

Make me stop! 

SPIIIIDEEEERRRRRSSSSS!!!!!

Most weeks, when not breastfeeding, it's a good week if I get 2 nights of full sleep without a small child waking up needing something.  I'm not complaining.  That's just life with a big family and small children.  1 or more usually wakes up crying, needing to go to the bathroom, cold, hot, sick, or something.  

Last night was no exception. The only difference was it was a new experience and I felt like I was in the psych ward.  

Bekah woke up around 3 am with two shrill screams.  I waited a moment, and heard her going back to sleep.  The sound kids make when not quite awake to begin with.  A few minutes later she starts crying.  I ask what's wrong.  

Then it began.  

She cries out "A Spider!  A Spider in my BED!"  

I tell her it's ok. 

Then "SPIDERS EVERYWHERE!!!!"

Sigh...

I get her out of bed, turn on a flashlight and walk her around showing there are no spiders.  

"SPIDERS ARE IN THE BATHROOM!  THEY'RE GOING IN THERE (pointing to the girls' bedroom)"

Everything was spiders or spiderwebs.  The blankets, the doors, the couch, her hair!  Oh...her HAIR!  Her hair was covered in spiders. She kept smacking herself and SCREAMING!!! I'm sure we scared the neighbors.  

Hubby finally had to hold her down in bed next to him (this was at least 20 minutes into screaming terror) and shine a light everywhere in the room.  Oh, and yes, the entire house was fully awake.  We had to keep explaining it was ONLY A DREAM!  She FINALLY calmed down enough to stop screaming and would only occasionally hit herself. She finally fell asleep in our room.  

This morning she keeps laughing and telling us about her dream of spiders hanging upside down trying to drink her blood.  

An emotional day - 39 weeks

I'm just really tired. I was up most of the night last night with contractions.  Breathed through them.  Had dreams of birth.  Had the moments between waking and sleeping where it felt like part of the sac was bulging, or baby was coming.  I didn't have a good night sleep.  

I'm having emotional breakdowns today.  Everything is just becoming too much for me.  My kids are fighting today.  Hubby's ER visit.  Imminent baby sometime soon. Then other things in life that just add up. 

I deactivated from Facebook today.  I need time for me.  I need sleep and time to find my inner peace.  My bubble of peace.  My birthing place.  

For other news, today is 39 weeks.  Baby has dropped and starts spinning during night contractions.  

 

A scary night at the hospital

Ok. We're home from the hospital. 

That was the scariest thing I've ever been through. It trumped Bekah's seizure. Brent called last night after the play was over (he's durecting The Fantasticks and I was opening night).  He said he was sitting there and his foot suddenly started hurting really bad.  He couldn't walk on it and hurt really bad when it wasn't moving.  When he got home it was red and swollen in the two veins on the outside of his foot. He was in a lot of pain (which says something since he can handle pain). We decided to go to the ER after reading up on the symptoms of blood clots.  He fit them all.  Better safe than sorry.  

I was scared.  I drove, and was battling contractions.   Baby was literally spinning inside of me.  Round and round on my cervix, causing pain and contractions the entire drive.   Brent was in a lot of pain still.  We were almost there and his foot started feeling a little better, but he felt something shift to his knee. Then got light headed and sweaty.  He asked me to pray for him.  He was scared.  I prayed outloud, but started bawling.  Then I missed the turn to the hospital.  We were running on gas fumes, as the light had been on for a while, but I just wanted to get there.  

We finally get there (ran 2 red lights and then going 80 mph once back on the interstate) and I run to get a wheelchair. We get in the ER and they ask him for his birthday, name, insurance info, address... I'm about to scream at her. WHY are they just sitting there?!  He is barely conscience, his hands are seized up, he's slurring his speech... I kept trying to open his hands.  They were stiffened into an L.  I grabbed his head and kept telling him I loved him.  I was so scared he was going to die.  That he was having a stroke. I didn't want him to leave me without hearing those words from me one last time.  

They finally take him in and I move the car since it was parked at the curb. All the spots seemed to be reserved for physicians.  I start yelling at the parking spots.   I finally find a spot. I get out and start bawling in the parking lot. I called my mom and start crying and talking 100 miles a min. She makes me stop, slow down, and repeat because she isn't sure if she's talking to me or my daughter Sadie, and wasn't sure who I'm talking about. She leaves her house to meet me up there. I'm pretty sure he's having a stroke.  

I get to his room and he's getting ready for an IV. He's looking better. I asked if he felt better but he didn't answer. I panic for a moment and ask him if he can talk. He said yes, and that he's feeling better but foot still hurts. 

They take blood, keep us there about an hour or two, feel his foot, say it's probably tendentious, write a script for anti inflammatories, and send us home. They said you can't feel blood clots (which isn't true from my friends who's spouses had them).  He can walk today.  It's feeling better, but his knee hurts a little.  I'm still worried about him.  He's not sure if it's a pain from running or from last night.  He didn't notice it until the car trip when he said he felt the pain move from his foot to his leg. 

I thought he was going to die. Too damn scary! Every time he said he felt funny, or thought he'd pass out I told him he wasn't allowed to feel that way.  I'm still telling him that.  Every time I think about it I cry.  I can't lose him.  All I could think was this can't be happening. Stay awake.  Stay with me.  

Brent's side at 3am after getting home:

Tonight was a surreal experience. It was opening night for The Fantasticks, which went really well. However, as I was sitting backstage, I started to get a throbbing pain in my foot for no apparent reason. By the time I left I could barely walk to the car. When I got home, Amanda noticed my foot was red, and slightly swollen. I couldn't put any weight on it at that point. The pain grew so intense that I decided to go to the hospital. About 5 minutes from Liberty hospital, the pain eased somewhat. Then my whole body got cold and sweaty, and my arms and head began to tingle. By the time we got to the hospital I couldn't move my arms, my hands were stiff, and I was barely conscious. They had to wheel me inside. At that point Amanda thought I was dying.

By the time I got to the room I started to feel better, although my foot still hurt. They ruled out anything serious. The doctor thinks the foot pain is just an inflammation of the tendons, or possibly a viral infection in my foot.

One funny thing that happened is that I got a new girl putting my IV in. It's not the most comforting thing having a new girl shoving a needle in your arm, especially when she yells "Oh shit" and blood goes everywhere. lol

I still can't put weight on my foot, but the meds have helped the throbbing subside. At least I didn't have to spend the night in the hospital. It's also nice to still be alive. Now I'm just waiting for the adrenaline to wear off so I can get some sleep.

Day 2

We went to see the show Six today in Branson.  It was pretty good.  It was long, but they sang great.  Joy LOVED the 80's music they sang.  She danced so hard and I laughed do hard I was crying. 

After that we went to a go cart track.  Even Moses and Bekah got to drive the little kid go carts they had.  All the kids had a blast.  Jacob was sad at first because he was too little to do anything. Then they let him and Bekah ride in the kiddie Ferris wheel together.  Oh he loved that.